You Don’t Own Neurodivergence – A Reckoning, Disruption, and Reframing.

From the forthcoming book, "The New Normal" by Dr. Miriam.

About This Series

This is Part 1 of a two-part series that explores who gets to be recognised, understood, and validated within the neurodivergent space, and who continues to be overlooked, mislabelled, or outright dismissed.

In this first part, I reclaim the narrative. I speak directly to the cultural monopoly that has shaped how neurodivergence is seen, spoken about, and defined. Part 2, titled When the Framework Fails, examines the clinical and diagnostic implications of this exclusion and calls practitioners into deeper reflection and responsibility.

Together, these two pieces challenge the inherited templates of "normal," offer a radical reframing of what neurodivergence can look like, and assert the rightful place of the Black, bold, and non-stereotypical in the story.

Intro: Setting the Scene

What does it mean to reckon, to disrupt, and to reframe? Together, these are not just rhetorical acts, they form a process of transformation. Reckoning is the courageous act of truth-telling, of naming what has been unseen, ignored, or dismissed. Disruption is the refusal to conform to norms that were never made with us in mind. And reframing is the creation of something new, a lens that includes us fully, in our complexity, brilliance, and contradictions. This piece is rooted in that process. It is not just a reaction. It is a reimagining.

This blog reckons with the absence that was never neutral, disrupts the dominance of singular narratives, and reframes the story of neurodivergence through a lens that centres the overlooked.

It follows an arc, reckoning, disruption, and reframing, that mirrors the shape of transformation. Reckoning confronts the silence, names the historical exclusions, and holds space for uncomfortable truths. Disruption breaks the accepted moulds, questions inherited standards, and interrupts what has long gone unchallenged. Reframing, then, becomes an act of reconstruction, a way of giving language, visibility, and dignity to what has always existed, just outside the frame. This triad is not just the structure of this piece, it is the philosophy behind The New Normal.

It speaks not to erasure, because how can you erase what was never acknowledged?, but to the generational omission of Black neurodivergent lives from dominant narratives, clinical spaces, cultural discourse, and diagnostic systems. It challenges the quiet monopoly that white, Western frameworks have held over what neurodivergence looks like, sounds like, and counts as. And it unapologetically reclaims space for those of us who have always existed outside those templates, misunderstood, mislabelled, or missed altogether.

This is not just about visibility. It’s about justice. It’s about language, power, and who gets to define “normal.”

As a psychologist, a Black neurodivergent woman, and someone who has walked both sides of the diagnostic divide, I offer this blog as a mirror, a provocation, and a call to recalibrate. Because the margins have their own brilliance. And what we call the new normal is already being lived, just not always recognised.

This piece is one of many reflections in my upcoming book, The New Normal, a work that challenges who gets seen, who gets missed, who gets mislabelled, who gets overlooked, and who gets to define the story of neurodivergence.

You Don’t Own Neurodivergence – A Reckoning, Disruption, and Reframing

Listen carefully, especially if you’ve never had to fight to be seen! You do not own neurodivergence.

Let’s say it plainly. You don’t hold the keys. You’re not the gatekeepers. And those of you who were diagnosed early, wrapped in the safety of systems built with you in mind, you don’t have exclusive access either.

Because neurodivergence doesn’t require your permission. It existed long before DSM criteria, checklists, or waiting lists. It has lived, and still lives, in places that your gaze rarely lands, thriving, struggling, adapting, shape-shifting in order to survive.

And here's the truth: Not every neurodivergent person has the luxury of a label. Especially not the Black ones. The working-class ones. The ones too 'able', too 'articulate', too much of a contradiction to fit your neat diagnostic boxes.

We were masking before you called it masking. We were blending before you made blending a hashtag. We were surviving systems that were never built for us, and doing it while raising siblings, working three jobs, and being told we were too angry, too loud, too sensitive, too Black even, just too something.

We are the Black, the bold, and the beautifully non-stereotypical. And no, we don't owe you a story that makes you comfortable. Our existence is not a footnote to yours. We are not diversifying your narrative. We are rewriting it.

This is not about inclusion. It’s about recognition. It’s about making visible what’s been ignored, overlooked, and underestimated.

Because while you were pathologising, we were pattern-breaking. While you were researching, we were rebuilding. And now? We’re setting the tone. We’re shaping the scene.

This is the new normal. A world where diagnosis is not a prerequisite for truth. Where visibility is not a reward for assimilation. Where we define ourselves, on our terms, in our language, with our rhythm.

To those still waiting to be seen: you’re not invisible. To those still fighting to be heard: your voice matters. To those who’ve been told they’re too much, or not enough: You are exactly the right amount of different.

And to the systems still clinging to old templates: Adjust your lens. Because the new normal has arrived. And we are it.